Do something today that your furute self will thank you for.
It really fun. Way more fun than I had anticipated. I mean, we were only there for about four days but we saw nearly everything we wanted to see. The only thing I can think of that we didn’t get to do was go inside the Empire State building but we still got to see it because it was right next to our hotel. Our hotel was amazing, I really don’t even know how my dad and Stacia (stepmom) afforded to stay there but I’m glad we did. It’s connected to Grand Central Station and right on 42nd street so we could walk to Times Square and everything in just, like, ten minutes or less!
The people were way different than what I’m used to… but I’m from a small west Texas town so it really came as no surprise. New Yorkers are crazy. Like, literally, they just don’t give two fucks about anything except for themselves (and I don’t even mean that in a demeaning way or anything; they’re just always talking on the phone or promoting something of theirs or trying to sell other people things- all for self gain. Like, one time I took a picture of a guy holding a little cardboard sign that said “I need money for weed” because I thought it was kind of funny and my camera flashed and he was just like “Ay! Wtf! That’s two dollars a picture!” And I was freaking out and apologizing and then I ran off without giving him any money! Woops.) And everybody is in a rush, especially the cab drivers. Getting back in Texas was strange because everybody is really nice and just grannies around when they drive, but not in New York. You speed and honk at pedestrians and swerve and ignore most traffic regulations. It’s wild. It was also weird being able to see the sky when I got home. Like all of the sky without buildings in the way. In NY the only time you can see the sky is if you look strait up or if you walk along the coast… but even then you can only see part of the sky. And smog. Ugh, smog everywhere.
But for all my healthies out there, New York is an ideal place to live! I loved it! It was not even a challenge to eat healthy throughout the week (I did slip a few times, though- I ate about half a pound of M&Ms from M&M World (lol) and I had a pizza one night). NY’s mayor is some health freak or something so every resteruant or cafe or really anything that sells meals is required to have the calorie count right beside to price on their menus. But each restraunt also has a little refrigerator that sells yogurt, fruit, healthy teas and smoothies, salads and sandwiches, so you always have a healthier option. There are also tons of organic markets scattered throughout the city. There really aren’t any fat New Yorkers because they always have those healthy options and they have to walk everywhere they go.
When I got there, I told myself there was no way in heck that I could live in a huge city like NY, but when we visited the 9/11 Memorial and the Statue of Liberty we walked through this little park area beside the Hudson River and seriously, it was gorgeous. Like, if I were going to live in New York, I would live right in that little downtown community. I saw all these artists just sitting around painting and sketching next to the water; there were joggers and dog walkers and I saw this one girl with a yoga mat strapped to her back. It was all very… appealing. Like, what a life that you can go jog right beside the river, through a beautiful park/garden, and see people minding their own business painting and such. I loved it.
The only thing I was missing a little bit throughout the trip was (of course) my mom and puppies but also getting to go for runs or something. I think the 20+ miles we walked a day could be considered a pretty practical workout, but that still doesn’t mean I wasn’t missing the gym back home. But the difference between now when I was missing working out and my last vacation, is that I didn’t let not working out make me feel guilty. I missed it, yes, but I wasn’t obsessing over it and I think that’s part of the reason I was able to enjoy myself more.
Oh, so we went shopping at the Forever 21 in Times Square (it was four stories, guys, I was in hog heaven!) and I found all these cute clothes and I literally grabbed smalls in every shirt I picked up (this is a first! I usually get mediums!) but when I went to try them on, even the smalls were too big! Like, I’m really happy that I’ve lost weight and gotten a little thinner and smaller but I couldn’t even buy some of my favorite shirts because they didn’t fit me :( I bought two pars of jeans and even those are a little big on me and they were the smallest size they had. It doesn’t even make sense to me really because I’m not boney or rail thin and I thought I’ve always had a medium sized frame… but I am really short and stubby so maybe that’s why they don’t fit as good. Before I was stubby but a little more cubby before so I could feel out clothes better but now I’m mainly just lean muscle with a little bit of extra pooch still but I’m more compact… I haven’t even really noticed this. Hm.
As we were walking back to the hotel from Forever 21, though, my stepmom asked if some of my old clothes still fit and I told her “Not really. I think I got smaller, not bigger.” And she was just like “Oh, hm.” And then the next morning I was in my pajamas and she goes, “Oh, wow, you really are smaller. Not that you were remotely big before but you look super thin now! I just never really noticed before.” It really earned her some brownie points and made me happy that all my hard work this summer has paid off.
And another really strange realization I had over the course of our trip was that I’m have this motherly protective instinct over my littlest step sister. Like, she could be kind of annoying but I didn’t think she was too bad. She’s only 10 or 11 (she’s in 5th grade so I’m not sure what age that is…) and she just loves me. She’s always asking me questions (especially things like “Do you have a boyfriend?” “What makeup do you use?” and other girly things) and I really want her to like me as well because she is my step sister and me and my stepbrothers from my stepdad don’t have that good of a relationship. But anyway, throughout the week I found myself “humoring” her and when she would run through the crowds and Stacia didn’t notice, I’d run after her to make sure that at least I had an eye on her. And she as always like “Let’s go upstairs!” (most the shops are multiple levels) and when she would run to the escalator, I’d be right behind her while my dad and Stacia and my other step sister (she’ll be a freshman this year) stayed downstairs. Idk, she’s just very cute and sweet. She’s kind of hyper and a little full of herself but I think that just goes with being her age and being a really, really good ballerina. I just feel really protective over her. I feel protective over my other step sister too just not as much. She’s really quiet (like me) but I’m more of a silent, happy observer kind of quiet while she’s sort of the moody, sensitive kind of quiet. I really wasn’t sure what to say to her throughout the entire trip so we barely even talked to eachother, but I could tell she was starting to get used to me on the last day because she was talking much more.
I definitely think this was good for us to do as a “family” because it feels like we’ve been walking on glass for the past few months that my dad and Stacia have been married. I think we got to see eachother in our “true colors”. Like, Stacia getting onto my two step sisters when they were being bad, my older stepsister being moody and angsty and the youngest one being a hyper brat at times. Stacia being tired and sassy and my dad getting frustrated with directions and stuff. And then me, quietly observing it all with a smile or obvious ignoring. I definitely feel like I wasn’t my true self, but it really takes me a long time to warm up to people before I start spilling all my thoughts. Stacia even texted my dad once wondering what I was thinking all the time I was so quiet… You’ll probably never know, to be perfectly honest. (And one more thing that just made me uncomfortable throughout the trip was how… honeymoon-ish my dad and Stacia were. Like, just ew. They kissed every two seconds and cuddled up and murmured things to eachother. And they texted eachother even as they sat right next to eachother just to say how sexy they thought the other was and just ugh. It was disgusting. Like, I know that ya’ll are “in love” but can ya’ll really not keep it reined in until you have a private moment? Like, my oldest stepsister is still really upset about the whole marriage and the youngest one is just grossed out by kissing in general and I know all their dirty little secrets which just makes me quiver in disgust so they just need to calm down.)
Okay, guys, I’m just really so glad to be back home. I had a super good time but I did miss Texas and it’s dry heat and open fields and friendly people. I’ll be hopping back onto my workout schedule which will involves tons of abs and cardio for the last few weeks of summer! xx
